ELAINE DODGE
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The Three Witches

This is my humble tribute to Sir Terry Pratchett and William Shakespeare. In 'the trade' I believe it's called a mash-up. I am trying my hand at something new, and breaking all the rules in the process. And I mean ALL the rules. To start with - the punctuation and grammar. Or rather lack of it. It's not just madness on my part, but is an essential part of the story. So far, some readers hate it, while others think it's hilarious.  It is an experiment! The first chapter below gives you a taste. 

CHAPTER 1
what are we missing the old crone asked tapping her finger against the cauldron

the other two were standing around with a hint of vagueness and possibly too many magic mushrooms swimming through their brains

names would be nice said the youngest witch

what did you have in mind asked the middle-aged crone

the oldest witch tapped her chin then said an old man in a funny hat once had a crone called esme thought that sounded quite nice so if we have a choice im calling dibs on esme

writing cove wasnt he had a name like perry tratchett

something like that

then im baggsing desiderata

thats a poem not a name said esme

well said the youngest witch im not old enough for granny weatherwax and im not going to be known as magrat sounds like something the cat dragged in

it is

there you go then the youngest one peered around the room as if names were hiding behind the furniture

what time will macbath wander across the moors waving a bloody sword asked desiderata

macbeth not macbath and dont swear

i wasnt theres a war happening outside or havent you noticed his swords going to be caked in blood and bits

whatever said esme we still have to find a funny snake

funny

thats what it says funny

desiderata peered over the older crones shoulder no it doesnt its fenny a fenny snake

be that as it may were short one snake fillet

do we have to put the snake in the cauldron asked the as yet unnamed crone i quite like a piece of grilled fenny snake fillet especially with a nice thick creamy mushroom sauce

youve had more than enough mushrooms for one day my girl said esme ill put the cauldron on and start heating up the water you two go find the snake and if you spot some basil bring back a nice big handful

were not making soup esme said desiderata

i like soup said the youngest crone maybe we can make soup and just pretend its got all that other nasty stuff in macbethll never know

the two other woman considered this for a moment

shes got a point said desiderata

in that case look for some parsley as well

ooh i like parsley i choose that for my name

as good as anything else said esme with a sniff

when shall we three meet again asked the youngest one

dont start if theres one thing that really gets up my nose more than anything else its witches talking all shakespeare drives me nuts

basils out of season said desiderata

im not having soup without herbs

what about some i think its called punctulation punctuation something like that apparently very useful

well if its edible and cheap get us a dozen

ooh i like punctuation maybe

​were not calling you some foreign muckiness said esme thats all we need a witch called punctuation

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  • THE BOOKS
  • The Device Hunter
  • THE HARCOURTS OF CANADA
  • WORKS IN PROGRESS
  • Award Stories
    • Award Winner - Harcourt's Mountain
    • Award Winner - That One Night
  • Blog
    • Susanne Schemper Guest Blog
    • Sue Coletta talks writing, murder and a crow named Poe
  • READ ME INK BOOKS