The Three Witches
This is my humble tribute to Sir Terry Pratchett and William Shakespeare. In 'the trade' I believe it's called a mash-up. I am trying my hand at something new, and breaking all the rules in the process. And I mean ALL the rules. To start with - the punctuation and grammar. Or rather lack of it. It's not just madness on my part, but is an essential part of the story. So far, some readers hate it, while others think it's hilarious. It is an experiment! The first chapter below gives you a taste.
CHAPTER 1
what are we missing the old crone asked tapping her finger against the cauldron
the other two were standing around with a hint of vagueness and possibly too many magic mushrooms swimming through their brains
names would be nice said the youngest witch
what did you have in mind asked the middle-aged crone
the oldest witch tapped her chin then said an old man in a funny hat once had a crone called esme thought that sounded quite nice so if we have a choice im calling dibs on esme
writing cove wasnt he had a name like perry tratchett
something like that
then im baggsing desiderata
thats a poem not a name said esme
well said the youngest witch im not old enough for granny weatherwax and im not going to be known as magrat sounds like something the cat dragged in
it is
there you go then the youngest one peered around the room as if names were hiding behind the furniture
what time will macbath wander across the moors waving a bloody sword asked desiderata
macbeth not macbath and dont swear
i wasnt theres a war happening outside or havent you noticed his swords going to be caked in blood and bits
whatever said esme we still have to find a funny snake
funny
thats what it says funny
desiderata peered over the older crones shoulder no it doesnt its fenny a fenny snake
be that as it may were short one snake fillet
do we have to put the snake in the cauldron asked the as yet unnamed crone i quite like a piece of grilled fenny snake fillet especially with a nice thick creamy mushroom sauce
youve had more than enough mushrooms for one day my girl said esme ill put the cauldron on and start heating up the water you two go find the snake and if you spot some basil bring back a nice big handful
were not making soup esme said desiderata
i like soup said the youngest crone maybe we can make soup and just pretend its got all that other nasty stuff in macbethll never know
the two other woman considered this for a moment
shes got a point said desiderata
in that case look for some parsley as well
ooh i like parsley i choose that for my name
as good as anything else said esme with a sniff
when shall we three meet again asked the youngest one
dont start if theres one thing that really gets up my nose more than anything else its witches talking all shakespeare drives me nuts
basils out of season said desiderata
im not having soup without herbs
what about some i think its called punctulation punctuation something like that apparently very useful
well if its edible and cheap get us a dozen
ooh i like punctuation maybe
were not calling you some foreign muckiness said esme thats all we need a witch called punctuation
what are we missing the old crone asked tapping her finger against the cauldron
the other two were standing around with a hint of vagueness and possibly too many magic mushrooms swimming through their brains
names would be nice said the youngest witch
what did you have in mind asked the middle-aged crone
the oldest witch tapped her chin then said an old man in a funny hat once had a crone called esme thought that sounded quite nice so if we have a choice im calling dibs on esme
writing cove wasnt he had a name like perry tratchett
something like that
then im baggsing desiderata
thats a poem not a name said esme
well said the youngest witch im not old enough for granny weatherwax and im not going to be known as magrat sounds like something the cat dragged in
it is
there you go then the youngest one peered around the room as if names were hiding behind the furniture
what time will macbath wander across the moors waving a bloody sword asked desiderata
macbeth not macbath and dont swear
i wasnt theres a war happening outside or havent you noticed his swords going to be caked in blood and bits
whatever said esme we still have to find a funny snake
funny
thats what it says funny
desiderata peered over the older crones shoulder no it doesnt its fenny a fenny snake
be that as it may were short one snake fillet
do we have to put the snake in the cauldron asked the as yet unnamed crone i quite like a piece of grilled fenny snake fillet especially with a nice thick creamy mushroom sauce
youve had more than enough mushrooms for one day my girl said esme ill put the cauldron on and start heating up the water you two go find the snake and if you spot some basil bring back a nice big handful
were not making soup esme said desiderata
i like soup said the youngest crone maybe we can make soup and just pretend its got all that other nasty stuff in macbethll never know
the two other woman considered this for a moment
shes got a point said desiderata
in that case look for some parsley as well
ooh i like parsley i choose that for my name
as good as anything else said esme with a sniff
when shall we three meet again asked the youngest one
dont start if theres one thing that really gets up my nose more than anything else its witches talking all shakespeare drives me nuts
basils out of season said desiderata
im not having soup without herbs
what about some i think its called punctulation punctuation something like that apparently very useful
well if its edible and cheap get us a dozen
ooh i like punctuation maybe
were not calling you some foreign muckiness said esme thats all we need a witch called punctuation